And Then There Was Steve Harmison and Some Disgraceful Ball Tamponing

I've been too busy watching Australia fucking whip England, so, apologies for this delayed Ashes coverage...

As if this whole Shane Warne moob incident wasn't scandalous enough, we then captured Steve Harmison trying that whole Ball Tamponing business by using his lactating breasts to squirt some of his erm, FLUIDS on to the cricket ball. This game is no longer a gentleman's game...all these boobs and lactation. I feel lactose intolerant. Darn that. Never thought I'd say this - go away Pamela Anderson wannabes. :-(

Shane Warne Fondling His Moobs...

Man, what a disgrace of a cricket match. England rendered Shane in the ass Warne ineffective, or so they'd like to believe, and their teddy-bear of a bowler, Matthew Hughard is the most successful of the bowlers.



But here, at Cow Tse Tung Centre for Sports Anal-i-Cys(t), we have found out the real reason as to why Shane couldn't perform to his optimum. The team had a blanket ban on sex, and Warne, as we very well know, can't function without, erm, functioning. His ball release depends on his erm, release. Damn this chick...behind every failing man is a, erm, WENCH (for want of a politer word). Damn Warney, stop playing with ze moobs.

Does Dodger Madeira Have Too Much Money?

A hiatus from cricket...
Observer A) Supposedly charismatic ATP world #1 male tennis player, Dodger Madeira has gone to the extent of getting boob implants to be ahead of the pack in terms of popularity. Also visible through that pretty shirt are Dodger's multiple nipples. Freak of nature.

Observer B) Roger Federer complains of sagging, aching boobies after being defeated by the other booby wonder, Anna Kournikova. (Wow, she won a match?)

If you're wondering, Observer A and B are both me - maybe I should change the tagging to "Observation" - but then the blog wouldn't sound professional and collaborative enough. Teamwork is of the essence in world sport - and who'd know it better than me?!