Saturday, December 31, 2011

Steward, Bring Me My Milk Bottle Or I'll Chuck A Hissy Fit

Traitor and ex-Australian spinner Steward McFrill aka Stewie McGirl aka Stuart MacGill (in more politically correct circles) hasn't featured on this blog since 2005. Can you believe that? I sure can. Bastard let the team down when we needed him most.

Anyway, so here's not-so-young Stewie, doing his best impression of -yes, you guessed it - a little McGirl in a pink frock. Not that Cow Tse Tung has anything against Pink.

I love pink. I mean, I just drank this shit diet energy drink called Pink this evening instead of having a meal so that when they milked me on the first day of 2012 tomorrow, I'd produce a viable alternative to Red Bullshit and V for Vagina.Got Milk?

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Rayon Harassed by Cheater Liddle

Peter Siddle and Ryan Harris Training for the India-Australia Test Series 2011-2012. 

Word is that Rayon Harass's (aka Ryan Harris to you educated ones, and Lion Hallas to you chinky Asians) parents named him so because they thought he was like rejuvenated cellulose. After a forced hiatus due to purported injury and spurious-liquor-intake, I can't see no cellulose, but cellugain and again, the cellulite seems to be anything but lite, Rayon.

Here's Cheater Liddle (aka Peter Siddle), who's actually not a liddle cheater but a big one at that. You might say that's an extremely uninformed opinion, but I bet you hadn't seen this photo of Liddle subtly threatening physical violence  against Harass with his toy dagger...

Friday, December 23, 2011

If You're Petrified of Mickey Arthur, Good Luck Playing The Currymunchers, Ed Cowan!

A reliable source tells us that top odour fartsman, Ed Cowan, no relation to Edith Cowan, or Edith Cowan University was actually called Ed Coward before he stank up Australian cricket. Don't believe this source of ultimate truth? Look at the evidence above. Even choker South African coach Mickey Farter scares this fellow!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Flake IPL Players

Man, so much for liberty, equality and fraternity. This Fake IPL dude writes funnier shit than me. And, he's got insider info on IPL - works for me, because my pubes are out of control. WTF? There goes equality out of the cricketing satire window. Then there's the perplexing matter of whether Mandira Baby IS the Deep Throat, or whether Mandira GIVES Deep Throat? Is that even propah grammar? Who cares - IPL is a form of cricket followed by illiterate Indians anyway. Preserve your Queen's for a tougher day.

Anyway, who cares who this dude is, as long as he makes an ass of himself, or gives us a tidbit or two to chuckle over. I am annoyed with the nicknames he gives players though - they're too - ummm - KOSHER! My list of alternative nicknames for IPL personalities:
  • John Buchanan (Bhooka Naan): Duke Canon would've been my name - coz he's a gun coach. And the world can kiss my chaddhis for all I care - Buck is God.
  • Saurav Ganguly (Lord Almighty): WTF? What kinda insult is Lord Almighty meant to be? Huh? I reckon Soreass ManBully is more vicious, AND also that the ass-raiding crybaby is this Fake IPL Player himself.
  • Kevin Pietersen (Peter Ka Beta): BORING!!!! Cave-In (under pressure) Cheaterson.
  • Shane Warne (Sheikh of Tweak): Is this a take on Sultan of Swing? YAWN! Mane Yawn. Coz he's all about his fake hair, and he puts me to sleep with his wannabe bad-boy antics, only to end up at the Allan Border medal with his sweet daughter.
  • Shantakumar Sreesanth (Appam Chutiya): Okay, in true populist style, you coin a nickname with a swear word, and India's low IQed population goes, "brilliant, why didn't I think of that?". Being an Indian cow, but with a trace of Jersey blood in me, I'd go with FreeCanth (rhyming with CUNT). On second thoughts, Appam Chutiya sounds better.
  • Mandira Bedi (Sandy Something Babe): Sandy? Who wants a SANDY babe? I say, Randy-RRRR Bebi
Well, that's about all my bovine brain can handle at this stage. I leave you with Crybaby Breakdancer, Freecunt and Sho Ape Fuckthar, comparing notes on penis size, and how to create illusions of crotchly grandeur by means of wearing your sister's skin-tight jeans.

Shantakumar Sreesanth and Shoaib Akhtar Are Size ZERO denim models

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Sharkfin Fins and Forthcumming Slut Tyres

Hear, hear.

I understand how assorted currymunchers feel about Sachin Tendulkar, especially sexually, but this guy takes it to a new level altogether - Praveen SR is his name, and I guess he caught me on a bad hair day.

Please note that as of April 9th, Praveen won't be cumming in front of a computer. I can only assume he's opted for the backdoor option.