Insider sources, such as ants, grasshoppers, and locusts have told us that the groundsman over in Chennai refused to accede to the demands of the Indian skipper, Growl Rabid, to make the pitch more Indian-bowling-attack-friendly, by placing pace-enhancers and turn-accelerators (top secret ISRO research on cricket led to the development of these technologies) under it, and activating them only when the Sri Lankans were batting.
Rabid is then said to have requested the Indian government to import Shahid Afridi, a demand that was turned down, because India does not believe in importing humans, primarily because feeding the billion-and-one-th man will prove to be a hard task.
Indian secret service, RAW thought they could kidnap Afridi, but Pakistan's ISI has proved to be smarter than them, and that's not just a recent thing. Rabid then exercised his last option - consulting with key Indian gurus like the spirit of Osho Rajneesh's pet iguana. This particular holy ghost presented a solution, which led to Rabid making a formal request to the Indian government to confer on Afridi the greatest honor known to mankind - an honorary Indian citizenship, and a passport that is better than the best toilet paper you have ever used. Will it work? Only time will tell.
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