All You People Don't Believe, In Di Ah We Got De Bob Sled Team

Yeh kids, 'tis common knowledge Cow Tse Tung is a closeted, marijuana smoking Rastafarian. Why rasta? 'Coz cannabis ain't sinful dis way mon.

Now since I waste all my mooney on marijuana, I obviously can't watch live telecasts of cricket happening around the world, 365 days a year. But, I do manage to sneak into dem government libraries and check out the scores on sites like BBSingh and CricMofo. CricMofo, what a motherfuckin' cool cricket site man.



Anyway, so after India's recent DLF Cup debacle in Malaysia, I hear the selecta (pump up de volume, Mr DJ) has decided that the Indian cricket team be retrained, reskilled, and sent off to the Winter Olympics as the first Indian bob sled team. Now, now, I know what you're thinking. Jamaica's been there, done that. Cool Runnings, fantastic Hollywood flick. They ain't copying no one, bro. Its the rasta fad. Look at me, nice former curry, currently wannabe-Jamaican. Similarly, our trendy cricketers wanna be cool too, literally, not figuratively speaking. And I, as a top notch bobsled coach, have always believed cricketers will make great bobsledgers. I mean, sledging is in our blood. We're used to giving the best downhill (ah, what irony!) performances known in sporting history, and we're known for our groupism (4 to a sled sounds great) and we love playing in new countries, where nobody's even heard of cricket. At least as bobsledders, they'll know we're real sportspersons.

All I can say is, sing that great Jamaican Indian soccer chant from World Cup 98, "Rise Up, In Di AHHHHHHHHHH". Or maybe not. I think I'm sledding into a state of sleep, so let me play my favorite lullaby, Bentley Rhythm Ace's Ride Your Sleigh - and NO, you may NOT FUNKIN' ride MOI SLAIYE`. I'm an athlete, this is expensive gear we're talkin' 'bout. NO< absolutely NOT!