Why Animal Lovers Should Support Cricket...

Disclaimer: This is a pubic service massage.
Here is Kevin.
Kevin Pietersen.
He is a rare cocksucker cockatoo from remote South Africa who was brought over to England because of his uncanny ability as a battyboybatsman. A birdie batsman, you might ask? Yes, as long as you're not a duck, you're in luck.




Watch cricket. Save endangered species like Kevin, the cocksucker "Cockatoo" Pietersen.

Mohammed Yousuf And The Cross Of Changes

The batsman formerly known as Yousuf Youhana might not realize it, but converting to Islam and walking around looking like an Osama Bin Laden clone isn't the key to his recent batting success. No sir, no bowler's intimidated by your Osama look, bar the Aussie pace quartet, who, in recent times, find even #10 dummies a handful to contend with.

Anyway, if you look carefully at this picture, you will see that Mohammed Yousuf might have given the Christianity the boot, but Jebus Christ always watches over him. I think Jebus might have an obsessive personality. Like me. Now, I'm off to chart a strategy on how I'm going to convert Jebus into a cow-worshipping Hinjew.

Of Duntroon and Sandhurst and a Certain General Monty

Pictured above is British cricket star, and spinner par excellence, Monty Panesar, dropping a 100 at the orders of his coach after his umpteenth misfield to background music by The Midfield General, after which a decision was taken by the CTT Bored of Directors to rename him as "The Misfield General". Very apt.