Who Wants Kookaburra When You Can Have A Crystal Ball?

Pictured above are Anil Kumble, who works really hard on his bowling, and his hence a consistent performer, and Sachin Tendulkar, who's too busy doing other stuff, and hence only manages a decent performance every 10 matches or thereabouts. Seen here is Tendulkar consulting a crystal ball to gauge his chances at the 2007 Cricket World Cup in the West Indies. Before you pass judgment on him, remember - Tendulkar wasn't very well educated, since he was too busy scoring ducks in international cricket. Scoring ducks, you heard me right. Some like the sheep (Fleming, Oram?), but some just love the ducks. Peking duck, Peeping Tom....ah, brings back some old memories.

But yeah, as I was braying, this guy's so dumb that he still can't tell "the" golden goose from a not-so-golden duck.

Tigger, the Nigger Woods To Release New Old Track!

Y'know kids, back in the mid 90s was a rock band fronted by a nigger, just like me. Yeh, back in tha day, I was called Mixmaster Mike, just like the dude on the Beastie Boys' albums. So one day, not long after I gave up rescratching scratched singles, I was watching MTV, looking for inspiration. What do I see? A nigger, just like me, playing heavy fucking metal. Well, it was heavy metal to my sugarpop-tuned ears bro. So yeh, these dudes called Hootie and the Blowfish were playing a track called Only Wanna Be With You, with some fantastic golf commentary in the background. And this track was like rock 'n' roll bhangra, because it used lyrics by my favorite bhangra artiste mon, the venerable Bob Dhillon!



That song, was not only my inspiration to become a headbanger, bro. It also set another famous nigger, like myself, on the path to fame. Yes, Tigger Woods it was, and now, he's repaying his debt to his Teddy Bear, POOH, who was always by his side when little Tigger wasn't as famous, and was constantly wetting his bed by singing that crazyass choon, nigga.

So hear dis, people in da house. "Only Wanna Pee With Pooh" by Hootie and the Blowfish ft Tiger - I mean, TIGGER Woods!!

Android Le Gruff

Yes people, we need a breather from cricket.

During the course of my medicationsmeditations [!@&^#$(*@# Freudian slips], I had a vision, a JPEG manifestation of which was done by some anonymous soul, may his tribe increase, a`la Abou Ben Adam.



If their child will grow up into anything like this, I think Steffi Graf and Andre Agassi are better off keeping it hidden, much like Michael Jackson does with his little angels.

Turncoat Team India (Cricket) Supporters

Okay, so India had an awful first two days in the first cricket Test against Pakistan, with the Porkies declaring at 679/7. Amongst the centurions were YouPiss Khan, MoHammered YouStuff, SuckShit AfroDi and CameraMan Akmal. Yes, even the bloody cameraman scored a century. So obviously, the Indian bowlers were bowling like ME!

But this coating of tricolours with green paint- this is uncalled for. How dare die-hard Indian fans turn against the very cricket team they were born to support, and paint their flags green. I'm green - with disgust, of the vomiting kind. What pisses me off even more is that they've used bloody high quality distemper produced by Asian Faints. And look at that boy in the extreme left - he's got even more green paint. What is this? Alien Nation?

And what's next I ask? Are you guys gonna convert to Islam like Mohammed Yousuf aka Yousuf Youhanna?? Huh? That boy with the hedgehog-head sure looks like a likely candidate.